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Walking around your house bucket ball naked, thinking of the d! Look for a toy. Look for a replacement.

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This will not post anything on Facebook or anywhere else. The more you have it, the more you want it. Yet, the more you have it, the more quickly you get bored of it.

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I was born with a vagina and I was fortunate enough to find as I grew up that this part of my anatomy did, in fact, align with my gender. But that didn't mean I wasn't curious about what it would be like to have a penis. I'm 33 and I still think that having a penis has to be a baffling, troublesome, potentially painful experience.

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May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourselfa series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure. Sometimes, left to our own devices, us humans will do stupid things — especially when horny. After scouring forums on which people described their weirdest masturbating tools a lot of plastic baggies, a lot of doll parts?

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Preferably, right now. Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! The best of the best makeshift penises for your entertainment!

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If you're new here, you may want to get my discreet newsletter to learn how to make him sexually obsessed with you and only you. Click here to get it. It's free.

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Loneliness does strange things to people. You start talking to yourself, having conversations with walls and inanimate objects. Sooner or later, you find yourself fucking these objects.

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Yeah I used that. I poured most of the water out the slipped it up inside the bag, the way it wiggled felt unreal. I would take in the shower and use it with the showerhead. That makes it sound like I masturbated with bubbles.


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