When it comes to sex noiseseveryone has a different style. Considerate whispering because you have roommates. Rhythmic grunts.
Dear Mona. Dear Jennifer. You are not alone.
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I've always been cautious about how I sound during sex. I'm afraid of what I might sound like in the heat of the moment and beyond that, I'm unsure of how someone else would feel if I made a lot of noise in the bedroom. This isn't to say that I've always been quiet during sex, because sometimes I can't help my body's reactions, but I've always tried to tone it down.
I once had a boyfriend who lived in one of those creaky old apartment buildings with noisy steam pipes and radiators that clang. Due to some mystery of its construction, noises carried vertically. In the kitchen, we heard neighbors three floors up cooking their dinner.
I was sure that moany sex meant better sex; to me, the women who used those sounds while they humped were the poster children of the sexually free. I suspected that they were having the coitus of champions, which meant, of course, that there was something I was missing out on. As the years went on, I had other boyfriends, but my decibel level remained disappointingly similar.
Here are a few tips for keeping quiet without limiting your passion the next time you need to be discreet while getting it on. Do it in the shower. Bathrooms are great.
Until I watched porn, the idea of people making noise in bed was completely foreign to me. It had never occurred to me to make noise when I masturbated. But then, when I started having sex with partners, I felt all this pressure to be louder than I was. I began to resent the expectation that people, especially womenshould be loud in bed.